Time is not on my side

So this is my first officaly blog. I guess I wanted a place to say the things I don't have the courage to tell anyone. I have so much going on in my life right now. Have you ever felt your world crashing down on you and all you can do is stand by and watch it happen? Well thats me. I am questioning love's existance and thats also a first for me. When so many people take my heart and play with it then toss it aside like a dirty towel its hard to believe. Right now I don't know if I will ever let someone in again. It's not just dating relationships, even friends have walked out. I keep asking why, but no one answers and I don't know if I have the strength anymore. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of taking pills just to get some rest from this world. But more than that I'm tired of waking up in the morning knowing that nothing has changed. Maybe the wounds are too fresh right now and things will look better really soon, but some of the wounds are so deep I don't know if they will ever fully heal. Only time will tell, and right now time is not on my side.